Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two
Day 2 of no word from Jay. I am beginning to feel like something of an idiot, and I am teetering between feeling annoyed and feeling concerned.
I don't know where he is. I don't know if he made it. I don't know if he even really exists or if I've been duped.
I don't honestly believe there was any duping. We talked far too extensively for this to be someone just out for a quick lay or a scam. Also, we didn't have sex, and I have not given him anything more personal than a phone number, and nothing monetarily.
So, sort of a lame scam if it is one.
Which leaves other options that are a lot pleasant. Perhaps he just doesn't have access to a computer, or the moving is taking longer than he thought it would...
All of our prior conversations were pretty indicative of the fact that he'd want to talk to me as soon as he got into town, so... I'm a little confused, a little hurt, and, no, mostly just confused.
What can I do, though? I can't make him call by staring at the phone. I can't make him email me by constantly refreshing my inbox. I can just... keep going about business as though nothing is wrong.
Goddammit. What keeps happening? Why can't things just go smoothly?
Why can't I just find friends and fall in love and be normal?
Why do I keep eating so damn much, too? Ugh.
~Red
mis - 2007-08-23 00:37:54
stop. just stop for a second and hear your self breathing, listen to your heart beat. close your hand and feel your pulse as it mambos through your veins and let the minty crystal refreshment of this one single second wash over your mind and cool it's fevered circles. people miss you. you are loved. some people swirl opulescence through your life mixed with swirls of blues, golds, silvers, greens . . . shell pink and purple slide past. it's ok that he hasn't called yet. it will all work out and you needent rush anything. sometimes, you move faster and get farther when you relax a little and just steer. *loves* <3
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Nicole - 2007-08-23 02:58:08
Hi. I'm sorry you are hurt and confused, I would be too. Maybe he does have a valid reason, we'll just have to wait and see. ((((HUGS))))
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But, no.
2007-08-22
