I feel so horribly alone.
I'm in pain, and I'm huddled in my bedroom with no recourse but to sleep and watch DVDs of TV shows I barely even like. Justin is miles away, busy with work, and there's no good reason for me to even come out there.
Which is for the best, since if I did come out there, I would probably just cry on him anyway.
PMS and painkillers do not a happy Rachel make. A lonely and wounded Rachel is all that's left right now.
I miss him. I miss being able to eat food, and I miss being near him.
I miss having a job with income, and everything else right now. I worry so much about the future, but I'm attempting not to. I think I need to stop thinking for now.
I'm not in a healthy frame of mind. Working on finding a job is fine, but other than that, I need to rest and heal.
Also, I guess I should do some reading for class, too. But nothing that requires me freaking out.
Deep breaths.
Oh god what if he doesn't love me or need me as much as I need him and he doesn't want to move towards a future together? What if he's stuck working for that man forever?
And back to no thinking. ._.
(I had wisdom teeth yanked on Friday)
The Aftermath of Extraction
2008-01-14
