I apologize again for the vacation from writing. It's been far too long since I took up the virtual pen and paper and sat to jot down my thoughts and dreams.
My time has been devoured by a lot lately. I could have found the time to write, but I have been focused more on making ends meet and trying to scrape by in classes I've ceased caring about.
It's nothing drastic. The budding company is kind of having some trouble as the holiday season takes people's money away from us and puts it into Wal-Mart and Best Buy. That's fine, I think, but we'll be having a rough time of it until the New Year.
It's just been hard. Gas costs so much, and eating out for two... I need to start asking that we stop indulging quite so much, I guess.
Being so worried about money just puts me in such an awful mood. It's not something I care overmuch about, it's just something that manages to weigh down on my every thought, when I don't have much of it.
My personal belief regarding finances is that money comes and goes, and enjoying your life is what matters. However, I have new classes coming up, and will be in need of textbooks and the like.
I suppose I could actually take out a student loan, but I'd prefer to avoid debt wherever possible. At least until grad school.
There's really no need, either. There's no point going into debt when all I need to do is conserve a bit. It's just worrisome that my paycheck has shifted to every other week, and that they really are unable to pay me on time even at that rate.
I'm making about half of what I was making when I worked at Mom's company, and I drive further than I did at that point. Of course, I'd be going out there to spend time with Justin anyway, but the point remains.
I dunno. I'm just not used to being so unable to keep more than 50 bucks in my account at once. I'm used to having hundreds, not tens. Granted, I pay rent now, but even then, my grandparents more than cover that, and I still manage to eat through the leftovers of that, too.
I just need to be smart. It's hard, but I know I can conserve funds. I just... I want to take care of people too much. Justin doesn't make much more than me, and I prefer to take the fall and pay for things, etc. Unfortunately, his rent is paid as part of his working arrangement.
Mine, is not. Nor does he drive, or pay for gas. I suppose that would be a good start.
Also, no more appetizers for dinner or lunch. That's basically paying for 3 people in place of one. And more cooking in. That's more healthful, as well. Two birds, one stone.
So, yes. I don't fear running entirely out of cash. I have a credit card I never use, but I have it to fall back on in times of emergency. Small credit limit, so nothing I can get myself into too much trouble with. Still, I avoid it at all costs.
This turns into "Rachel worries about everything" even when I mean for it not to. Grar. I think I'm going to start a new one and try again.
Mo' Money... less worry.
2007-11-27
