You are a gift renaissance with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies as balm for all scars
I'm in Genetics class, because I scored 80% on the test that I took and I am now newly dedicated to improving my study habits. However, that study habit increase led to me reading the chapter he's lecturing on, and yet again, he is being retardedly elementary about it all.
Bleeeeh.
So, I surf the webs, and take notes as needed.
I e-mailed mom to ask her some serious questions.
To my lovely Mis: I'm keeping pace with myself, my comfort level, and the natural evolution of the relationship. However, I am prone to thinking a few steps ahead of myself, because I tend to be a worrywart. And what is this diary if not a place for me to release some apprehension and fear in a positive way?
Fear not, my dear. I am in no rush to get myself hurt, and I am very much enjoying the ride to complete assurance before I decide to take the leap. I do have a wonderful boy who will wait until I am ready, and treat me like a queen in the meantime.
So, yeah, I went ahead and asked my mother what her thoughts were on sexuality. When I am conflicted about something that involves another person, I tend to stress over the idea until I finally succumb and ask bluntly what I need to know.
I asked her if she wanted to know, what we could talk about, etc.
Her reply was, as my mother sometimes is, awesome:
I love you so much!!!
I know you are a good person and you will always be a good person. What you are going through is absolutely the normal progression in life. This is really hard to answer because the Mom side of me HAS to say that you should wait until you are married, or at least are absolutely commited to a guy. The woman part of me says I was 15....
Please just make sure you truely love a guy and can trust him prior to doing anything. Also make sure you are protected when you do.... Also make sure you shave your legs. : )
I want you to be able to talk to me about anything.
P.S. I've been in meetings since 8:30 this morning, so don't think I was having to think a long time about what to say before replying.
I love you,
Mom
I love my mommy. :)
God, this class just won't end. And now I'm thinking about Jay and all antsy. Ah, the fun of life.
What's funny is that suddenly, in a bout of slacking off and skipping class and taking a test, I've settled into wanting to put effort into my schooling. I know this year is going to suck, but I need to at least practice good study habits before it bites me in the face the following years.
Besides, I like learning. I can do my best to care and to study and such. I'll even learn to balance my social life to do so.
I still dread the campus events that are required of me, and the socialization class in general, but I can get it done with, and have fun while doing it. Dammit.
I love when I get these responsibility kicks. I am such an old lady.
Something about highlighting textbooks, being prepared, feeling informed and ready to take on tests and lectures... it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
I am a giant, giant nerd.
Nicole - 2007-09-06 15:16:14
WOW!! Your mom is awesome, she didn't react that way when she found out I was 'active'. You are a very lucky girl. I liked the tone of this entry, optimistic and fun. Just what I needed! I hope you have the best of times!!
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mis - 2007-09-07 18:17:01
i trust that you know what is best for you, i have faith that you will do what you need to in your own time and i know that while that may be comforting and encouraging, it's not required. having been young and hormonally irrational and wild, myself, i was totally in a different situation. you are far more mature and sensible that i was at your age, but that in no way implies boring or impervious to "the moment". ;) i figured i was simply mirroring what you were thinking/doing but sometimes just to see things spelled out . . . it just makes it more real. goodness, i just loves you madly, darling! i *do* worry about you getting hurt, but unlike most my friends, it's not because i expect you will, it's that i'd give anything to see you happy forever. to my reasoning, your getting hurt is kind of an abstract concept with Jay . . . not an eventuality.
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You make my knees weak...
2007-09-06
