He said I was looking good. He complimented my pictures, grabbed me a few times (nothing inappropriate, just... contact), and made sure I knew he thought I looked good before he left.
He left.
Forever.
Maybe not forever. But 5 years is a little under 1/3 of my life, and that's just the beginning of his stay in foreign territory. So, forever. I don't know if I'll ever see him again, and my heart is aching.
He's twice my age, and whatever crush I had on him years ago has faded into a very simple love. I love him. He loves me. We're drawn together. Our hearts are very similar, in frighteningly close ways.
He's probably one of the closest friends I have, even though I don't get to see him or talk to him very often. Just, when he's there, it's like he never left.
If only.
I offered my services in 4 years.
He wants to start an orphanage, and I want to be a child psychologist. The only problem is that he wants to do it in South America.
If I'm single, I'll go.
If I'm not, I may still. I don't know what to perceive as a calling, and what to take as just the lingering echoes of unrequited love and painful optimism.
My mind and heart war constantly with each other, but sometimes, they team up to damn me.
lapisllong - 2007-07-30 19:49:31
i wish i could breathe life into all that surrounds you, i wish i could speak to the sadness tucked close and secure in your heart, i wish i could push you behind me to protect, i wish i could endow you with the right magic to fight your own battles, i wish i could ensure your victory, i wish i could comfort you in defeat, i wish you saw you like i see you.
i wish you really saw how beautiful you truly are.
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Why Peru?
2007-07-29
