This is my third attempt to churn out something of substance into this little box today. I keep getting distracted, telling myself I am too tired to continue this little thing, and so on.
I think those are lies. Mostly because I enjoy writing, and I am rarely too tired to do it. But I don't know what I'm keeping myself from writing.
So I'll just go. I'm sure it'll slip out eventually.
I had lunch with the lovely Miss Lissa this week. I am so grateful that I've had the chance to meet her and become a part of her world this Summer. We have so much and so little in common at once, it's almost frightening.
I tend to have that bond with people, though. People I just met, suddenly become closer to me than I've ever been able to comprehend, and both parties are entirely comfortable with the shift.
It's nice. It makes life feel a great deal less lonely, when I know I could be only seconds away from a powerful chain forming between me and another soul. It need not be romantic, but every bond is a tiny bit similar to a romance.
Sharing yourself is a frightening experience, and I had a time where I was too scared to try again. I'm glad for the chance to open up again.
Which I suppose leads me to the true matter on my heart.
...I can't. I can't fill another online journal with the fears and introspections of a teenaged girl worrying about a boy.
I won't do it.
Suffice to say, I don't know how I feel, or how I should handle the situation, and I'm running out of time with which to think and process.
I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm feeling warm and fuzzy and I'm hating myself for it. I see doom beyond the warm fuzzies, and I'm having a hard time breaking past that to give it a chance.
But that's what life is, isn't it? Taking chances?
I need sleep. :-/
~Rachel
Doom Fuzzies
2007-05-10
